Festivus for the Rest of us
by MomofPhoenix
Summary: Just a silly little one shot. This was not the Christmas story I was intending to write, but I needed to get the sillies out.


A/N not mine, I own nothing.

So, this isn't the story I originally planned for a Babe Christmas, but it won out. May you all have a wonderful holiday, no matter what you believe and celebrate!

Festivus for the Rest of us

Lester and Cal were standing at a pole that they had brought up to the control room floor. They were up to something and Ranger was worried. When these two goofballs got sneaky, trouble was bound to happen.

Stephanie had walked onto the floor just as Ranger was going to make his way out to them. He decided to stay and his desk and watch what was to unfold.

He suddenly heard Steph yell out, "Festivus for the rest of us!"

Shit, she was in on it too.

Ranger made his move. He had to intervene before this got ugly. He didn't have a clue as to what was going on, but it had to be stopped before chaos ensued.

He reached the crowd that had gathered in time to hear Santos speak.

"We will now commence with the airing of grievances!"

Crap, Ranger thought... he was to late, it was going to be ugly.

"Why can't you all just leave flaming Fred alone! I like him and it's my body! I don't say anything about the crap you guys like, or the goofy ink any of you have!" Cal yelled at the pole.

Ranger hung his head. There would be no controlling this. So he hung back to listen.

"I am not Stupid! I may be a play boy and a goofball, but damn it, I have my PH.d in psychology. That's right, it's Dr. Santos! So stop treating me like I'm an idiot!" Lester yelled.

Ranger knew that Lester had a PH.d and often treated people for PTSD without them knowing it. He behaved the way he did to bring them out of their shells, and it worked. That was why Ranger had hired his cousin in the first place. The only this Lester had asked, was that they keep his doctorate quiet. He hated treating people with meds and would often refer them to someone if he thought they needed it.

A few more of the men got in on the act. They all encouraged Steph to join in. She said that she would go last, it might help in the next part of the celebration. That had him even more worried.

Tank was up. The man looked pissed. Hr had geared up a full head of steam and began.

"I hate that you all get on me about my cats! What the hell is your problem?! I deal with stress my way, you deal with it yours!

"I am sick of the crap Ranger pulls on Stephanie. I am sick of the both of them keeping their heads in their asses!"

The look on Rangers face was priceless, but it wasn't done yet. Steph was up next.

"I hate how people put me down! I am not a complete screw up!

"I am sick of certain people playing with my heart! I am not a damn yo-yo! I get it Ranger, your life doesn't lend itself to relationships, so stop feeding me the bullshit lines and either man up or step away! I will not be a line item in your entertainment budget any longer!"

Ranger looked like someone had slapped him.

"Time for great feats of strength. Ranger, get your ass to the gym. You are meeting me on the mats!" Tank yelled.

What the hell? Did everyone know about this holiday except him?

He shook his head and followed everyone to the gym. Some of the guys went right to the weights, others went towards the mats.

"Ranger Manoso...we are meeting on the mats to show our strength, but on a side note, I will gladly be handing you your rear end!"

Tank made the first move, and Ranger immediately made a mistake. He looked over at Steph. Tank had him down and trussed up like a Christmas goose before he could blink.

Tank got up and walked away. Leaving Ranger stuck on his belly with his hands and feet tied up together behind his back. To say it was an awkward position was an understatement.

He was left there like that for twenty minutes as his men were showing off what they could do.

Steph was laughing as they showed off for her. Ranger was finally able to get himself untied. His arms and legs felt like rubber, but something dawned on him as he watched the group.

These were his friends, but more than that, they were his family. Tank had been right. He needed to get his head out of his ass. He loved Steph and wanted to start their someday now.

He had just started to make his way over to her when Ella called them all in for the special Fetivus meal she had ordered. That made Ranger raise an eyebrow; which sent Steph into hysterical laughter.

"Just go with the flow, Batman."

They went to the large conference room where there were what looked like bras hanging everywhere, and the festivus pole was prominently displayed. There was pizza and non-alcholic beer all set up.

"Why are there bras with each of the mens names on them, hanging around the room Santos?" Ranger asked.

"They're not bras, they're bros!"

With that the entire room lost it. Ranger suddenly felt like he was lost in an episode of Seinfeld.

Ranger burst out laughing. He grabbed Steph and swept her up in his arms, kissing her with wild abandon. The guys all let loose with catcalls and hollers.

"Steph, Babe, are you ready for someday?"

"I've just been waiting on you."

He kissed her again, and carried her out of the room and to the elevator.

As the doors closed he heard Lester yell, "Happy Festivus to us all!"

A/N So, I needed to write something a little silly. My Story Someone for Her is about to take on a more serious tone, and I needed to get the sillies out.


End file.
